What is it exactly that your partner sees in the other person? What are the things that they provide your partner that you are not able to?
Most people who are victims of extramarital affairs tend to blame the other person for the affair more than their partners. This is because society’s general attitude towards infidelity is that it is caused by the third person, and their partners were forced into the affair and are merely victims as well.
They tend to look at the other person as kind of a femme fatale or a Don Juan – someone who can make their partners do anything with a snap of a finger. But what they refuse to understand is that their partners had as much to do with the affair as the third person, and that if the affair hadn’t happened with that particular person, it still probably would have with a different person.
So if you really think about it, just how special is the other person?
A lot of people believe that infidelity happens in relationships where love does not exist anymore, which isn’t always true. There have been plenty of cases where the affair was a way for the partner to deal with a certain issue or problem, and not necessarily an act caused by “falling out of love.” It becomes a fantasy relationship, where both the partner and the other person present only the best parts of themselves and do not have the same responsibilities and priorities as a married couple does.
In most cases where the partner does choose the third party over the spouse, they eventually figure out that what attracted them most to that third person is the role they presented – that of a lover – and not the person himself, and that the illusion they had of this person giving them a new, more exciting life was nothing but an illusion.
There are plenty of other roles that the other person could be fulfilling for your partner, and understanding the nature of their relationship could give you insight on what it is exactly that the other person is doing for your partner.