This is an excerpt from one of the coaching sessions Dr. Robert Huizenga had with a client who discovered that her husband had an affair while he was on active duty during the war.
After finding out about my husband’s affair, he stopped seeing and talking to me for over a month before he suddenly asked for a divorce. I felt hurt and betrayed, and I really felt like my family was destroyed.
He was involved with a married woman. He told her that he was divorced and that his wife, whom he still loved, had left him. Our friends and family were surprised by what happened, but I really wasn’t, which I think is why it hurts more.
Right now, I’m just trying to concentrate on the positive things that this has brought me. My life is completely different now, and I’m taking care of our two young children as well as our nephew who we are guardians for. My friends and family have been very helpful and a great support system through this whole ordeal, and I know that I am getting stronger and stronger everyday.
The following are some of the personal goals she is working on right now, through the suggestion of the coach:
1. To grieve the loss of her marriage.
2. To keep herself busy and continue to work on self-improvement goals.
3. To make a journal chronicling her thoughts and feelings, focusing on the negative as well as the positive and try to figure out where they come from.
4. To continue to rely and build her support system.