Coping with Infidelity: Knowing Why He/She Cheated

Is it Important to Know Why My Partner Cheated?

A lot of the people have asked this question, and the answer is always the same: yes. Why? Because knowing the reason or factors behind one’s decision to be unfaithful to his or her spouse is a key to finding a solution in the problem.

For the more than two decades that Dr. Huizenga has worked with people who are going through problems with infidelity, he has come up with seven different kinds of affairs that stem from different reasons.

One of which, and the most common, is a need to prove his or her desirability. Your partner may use the “horrible marriage” as an excuse to seek the kind of attention he or she claims they are not getting from you. Another one is because he is confused or afraid of being intimate – either in general or in the way that you want to be – and he sees this as something that is wrong with him.

Maybe your partner sees himself as a “great catch,” and feels entitled to be with someone else who is a “great catch” as well. Or he could just be after the feeling one gets when he has found and is discovering a new love – the excitement, the drama, the thrill.

Whatever the reason may be, knowing the specifics will be a great tool for you to planning the best approach in handling a situation like that.

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