I’ve been part of the self help and therapeutic endeavor since 1981. I’ve served on the state board for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. My private practice in Marriage and Family Therapy continued since that time and I’ve sat with thousands who expressed their pain and were looking for something different, something more.
I’ve spent much time reflecting and noting what seemed to work and what seemed to fail.
I don’t always take the traditional route because I don’t believe it goes far enough or it misses underlying issues and assumptions.
Here’s what you hear and read from many that purportedly try to help create love and rekindle your relationship:
4 Commonly Suggested Methods for Reviving a Marriage or Relationship
- Talk about feelings. Get at the nitty grity. Go over past hurts. Dig into family of origin issues.
Sounds foreboding, doesn’t it? And, usually not necessary, very subjective and can take much time.
- Both must be committed to makeover the marriage.
I contend that NEVER are two fully committed to this process. One is always taking the lead with the other holding back somewhat, or a lot.
- You must work to meet each other’s needs.
This may feel good at the beginning, but it is only a temporary fix at best. I will show you ways to move beyond your neediness.
- You must learn communication skills.
Now, that sounds boring and rather plastic or contrived. I will teach you how to communicate better without focusing on the skills. I will teach you how to deal with infidelity.