Following are eleven characteristics of a healthy relationship as it moves through marital crisis. In a healthy marriage, you will be able to:
1. Stand back and see the larger picture
2. View your crisis from different perspectives
3. Have much to offer (your spouse and others)
4. Make very clear and powerful distinctions that give you tremendous personal power when it comes to communication
5. Speak to the point and with power
6. Create the intimacy that fills your life with joy and delight
7. Both realize that a marriage in pain is a marriage that is not working and therefore want resolution as a couple
8. Want the impasse between the two of you resolved
9. Want to diminish your pain, your fear and your discomfort when around him/her.
10. Want the freedom to move on, hopefully with each other.
11. Hope that the resolution will lead to a lasting connection or love, but know there is no guarantee. It is your preference, not your demand.