If you take your role as a parent seriously you are concerned about the welfare of your children during a martial crisis. Children know, don’t they? They feel it. The conflict soaks into their body and they carry it with them.
And, we as thoughtful parents, have a difficult time when our children suffer. We suffer because we believe they suffer. We often remember our suffering as a child, at some level, and do not want our children to experience the pain.
And so, we frequently want to protect and shield them. And, during the Holiday Season we want our children to have a joyful time and remember it with warmth, even if mom and dad are not having such a wonderful time.
To alleviate this pressure, focus on the coping skills your children are developing. We CAN”T escape conflict and pain. It is ever before us. It begins at birth and continues until we die. The contrast of life – the good, the bad – the joy, the sorrow – the successes, the failures – is ever before us.
We learn, we grow, we evolve (hopefully) as a result of those contrasts. That’s what your children are doing. Building a feathered nest for them will only cripple them later in life.
Reflect on how each child copes. Take some time to list 5-10 strengths for each child. Spend some time during the Holiday Season encouraging those strengths and skills.