Today’s blog is about the benefits of focusing on one’s own happiness as a strategy for dealing with a spouse or partner who vacillates, has mood swings or changes their mind continuously. One day, one moment he or she wants a divorce, the next day or moment he or she feels remorseful and wants to work on the marriage. We feel jerked around, like a puppet on a string, uncertain of which mood or desire is going to show up next. Often this pattern of relating with our spouse or partner has been in existence for a long time, even years. We do have the power and ability to break free from the dizziness of these swings. We do not have to be a helpless victim of our partner’s wavering commitments. Overcoming infidelity in marriage is all about calling back our own power of choice, standing in our ability to choose our response to ANY circumstance and not feed our partner’s wavering indecisiveness (the redundancy of the experience can be really wearisome too!). The key to breaking free of these swings is to change one’s focus. Shift from “I wonder what he or she is going to want next?” to “What do I want next? What do I want (and NEED) now?” Not in a childish, selfish, “I’ll show you” kind of way, but in a way that focuses on what it is that would make a real and substantial contribution to your
overall and long term happiness. Peace and Blessings.