What if S/he Continues Seeing the OP?

Marital Infidelity Concept. Love Triangle Passion Hate

Coping with a cheating spouse who continues seeing the other person, even though the affair is in the open, often involves a high level of ambivalence.

Dr. Huizenga describes that ambivalence and offers powerful ways to verbalize that ambivalence to the cheating spouse.

As well, he talks about the importance of shifting the focal point and asking yourself THE question.

This entry was posted in Emotional Distance, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Marriage, Infidelity Pain, Surviving Infidelity, Surviving Infidelity Videos and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to What if S/he Continues Seeing the OP?

  1. Nancy says:

    Glad I got your e-book. The videos are helpful!

  2. Janis says:

    This video helped me very much as my spouse will not stop his affair. and I have felt like a crazy person checking cell phone logs, and email all the time. This video helped me gain a sense of composure for my own mind, and helped me understsnd the reasons that I must stay focused on me!

  3. Kellie says:

    Thankyou that is excellent advice and its working for me.. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not discovered your emails and website. Thankyou for giving me the strength to put my life back into my own hands.

  4. dian says:

    Very good advice. I told my husband a year ago, “I know you haven’t made up your mind, but if you are going to be with me, you need to stop seeing her and calling her. You know, I love you, but, I don’t want any part of this triangle business. I would like to be with you, but I want all of you. If you can’t do that, I don’t want any part of you. I’ll be fine without you. I’m stronger than you think. In the meantime, I’m not gonna go out looking for someone else, at least until we’re divorced. We need to set a good example for our children.” In tears, he aggreed with my statement. I don’t exactly know what it did to him, but I felt very much in control and I really think it had a huge affect on him ending the affair, and my being able to care for myself in the past year. We are still together and getting stronger.

  5. Nicki says:

    These videos & the book are really helping me now. I’ve been going thru a hystericl phase, where I thought my life wasnt worth living. Now I’m going to take control & tell my husband that I’m going to get on with my life, with or without him, & hopefully he’ll begin to realise that he’s made a huge mistake.

  6. di says:

    These videos are very helpful. This week I started concentrating on me. He continues to see the OW so I am moving on. I agree that a triangle does not work I feel I need to think of my children. I need to heal and move on. This too shall pass…………

  7. Katia says:

    I learned that a cheater is not worth it. My advise is to move on with your life. Once a cheater, always a cheater! Don’t waste your time trying to rebuild a death marriage. I am happily divorced, and affair free!

  8. C says:

    I am exactly what you described in this video. I am constantly checking phone logs and tracking him. It takes a lot of energy from me because I am afraid of what I might see. I have not found any contact since I was informed. I am going to have to get control. It is affecting everything. Thanks for the advice!

  9. betty says:

    my husband and i separeted last Dec.08 and have reconciled since Feb,09 in Dec,i planted a recorder in my home because i knew he was seeing someone which he was dening for 8or 9 mths. but since i have returned i live on eggshells cause she lives in the same town [small town] this is a hard pill to swallow,but i have not thrown her name once since were back, but i’m starting to suspect something is going on again,he keeps his cell phone on him like its part of his body, sex has gone awol,he says its him not me,i feel manipulated again.how do i confront him without proof? someone please help i really want my marriage to work.34 years

  10. Tozovac says:

    If she/he continues to see OP the go away. Don’t get her/him another chance, save your pride and dignity. Don’t call for children, money, bla, bla… Just go away, even with children, and look for love in another person.

  11. dark says:

    After listening to the tape I really needed to ask my self that very important question ” Do I really, truly want to be with someone who has cheated on me” and it’s scary knowing the answer is no. But I want to be happy again with me and be able to trust my judgment again. It hard sometimes, but I have to move on, somehow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *